Thursday, February 12, 2004
Well, um I caught Donnell (my boyfriend) in a red a&$ lie. I got the girl he cheated on me with to call him on three way and talk to him. I heard everything he said about he don't have a girlfriend and all. I was so nervous that I dropped my phone and it hung up. All I could do was cry. I was so, so hurt. I walked around my college campus and cried and then I called my friends and told them to come meet me someone. I cried for a while, but thank God for my three friends they made me laugh. I don't know what I would do without Fonda, Wanda and Tanisha. I have other friends that I talked to tonight and they made me fell a lot better. I still feel really sad and I want to cry, but I'm trying not to cry cause I'm just gone get sick. I really love him and deep down in my heart I feel like I can forgive him and move on. Then I afraid that I would look like a fool. I don't want to accept him again and then he hurts me again. I was taught to never settle for less and to never let a man run over me. Donnell and I have been through so much that a lot of people don't know and I don't want to lose that unless I really have to. I can't believe that after all the things we have been through and after all I've done for him he goes behind my back and lay someone else. I've always asked when the last time he had sex and he would say with you (me). Everytime we got into an argument he swore up and down that I was the only one he wanted to be with. He stated all the time that I was the one he wanted to marry and one day his son will be my step-son. He always called his son my son anyway and I even chose to accept his sun because I loved him. That's what's wrong with me. I'm always trusting people with my heart and what do they do??? CRUSH the H%$# out of it. I am strong though, I can get over it soon or later. I'm on the phone talking to his friend Lil' Benny and he is so sweet. He feels the same way I feel and he's sort of in the same situation I'm in. Us poor babies, We will be alright though. I'm just afraid that the one day Mr. Right come along I might be to scared to accept him and miss out on my opportunity to be with someone who really loves me for me and never even thinks about back sliding on me. I'm about into tears right now so I have to go. I can't be crying all over the computer. Love Always, Chon
chon → 7:57 PM
