Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Jokes Jokes Jokes Jokes Jokes Jokes Jokes
Old Lady and the Vibrator
One day, a little old lady walked into a sex shop. The young clerk couldn't help notice her, first, because she reminded him of his dear old grandmother, and second because she was twitching violently and trembling, even more than his grandmother did.
"Young m-m-m-man?" she stammered to the clerk, "Do you sell v-vibrators here?"
"Yes ma'am, we do," he replied, a little embarrassed.
"B-b-b-big fl-fl-fluorescent oh-oh-orange ones?" asked the old lady.
"Yes ma'am, we have some like that."
"The t-t-type about s-s-s-sixteen inches l-l-l-l-long?"
"Yes ma'am, we've got just about any size you'd want," said the young clerk.
"The k-k-kind that t-t-t-t-takes eight D-D-D Cell b-b-b-b-batteries?"
"Yes ma'am we carry some like that."
"Well, c-could you t-t-t-tell me how the h-h-hell you turn it off?"
The Gynecologist
A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.
After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so he asked her,
"Do you know what I am doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That's right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breast.
"Do you know what I am doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps or breast cancer."
"Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
"Yes," she said, "You're getting herpes: which is why I came here in the first place."
The Pickle Slicer
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh . . . she got fired too."
chon → 7:29 PM
