THE DAY MY WHOLE LIFE WAS SHATTERED
SADNESS(feels like being gunned down)
Well, it was early December when I found out I was having a baby. I didn't know if I should be sad, happy, or disappointed, but mostly I can say I was happy and scared. I had a few complications when I was 6 weeks and I got put on bed rest. Things was fine when I went back to the doctor and Carlos and I was happy.On January23,2005 I went to the doctor for my first ultasound not knowing that my first ultrasound would be my last one.Carlos and I heard the baby's heartbeat and at that very moment I fell in love with that baby. We smiled and laughed and I started looking forward to having my baby, holding my baby, waking up in the middle of the night, and taking my baby to grandma's and everything.I started looking forward to Carlos and I having us a little family and his girls being big sisters to my baby.It's sad when you don't blame anyone and you know GOD makes everything happen for a reason, but sometimes you wonder WHY YOU?
THE TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL
The trip to the hospital was hell.I was in so much pain and I was hurtiing so bad.It hurted lik ecrazy and it hurted to sit down, to walk, to do anything. I was bleeding bad by then. I could feel blood running all down my legs.It was so scary an di wouldn't wish this in my worst enemy.Carlos was rubbing my back and holding my hand the whole way there. Thank God I got a man like him to be there for me.He told me he would never leave my side and he didn't leave either.He stayed there every min of the hour.I knew on the way to the hosputal that I was having a miscarriage,but I tried to pray to GOD and keep my faith.GOD said all you have to do is have a mustard seed of faith. I hated to keep questioning GOD, but when you are going through something you constantly question him because you are wondering why you, why wait after this long, why, why, why,why! :-(
AT THE HOSPITAL
At the hospital all I could do was pray and beg GOD to take care of me. I am really sad all I have left to say is thatI am sad and I'd rather roll up in a ball and fall out than to go through this.Ask yourself how would you feel if you sent throught this!!!!! Your answer should be? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW until it happens.
Love always,sad,depressed,hurt,and scared!!!
